Nine years ago I got a divorce. I was married for six years, one and a half of those six years I was separated. I felt like I’d been kicked in the teeth and couldn’t understand why I was being forced to endure the things I had in the past few years. None of it made any sense. For some, divorce is almost like a death and for me it was no different.
Leading up to the divorce, my ex had been working on the pipeline. Out on the road, men encounter many women in many different towns. Some men are smart enough to say no to it all, my ex-husband wasn’t. Needless to say, I found out on my own what he had been up to. Exactly a week for Christmas 11 years ago, I told him I wanted a divorce. I packed up my things and I left. He came home to a very quiet house. I left all the furniture and appliances. The only things I took were mine and my kids clothes and belongings. I purged myself of everything that reminded me of him. After the dust settled, we continued to see each other. Then I found out that he had met someone and moved her into our house we’d been renting. Another kick in the teeth. To add insult to injury, she was 19 – 10 years younger than me. To top it off, she was a bitch. And I’m not saying that out of bitterness, she was an utter bitch. Even though we were separated, it was obvious to me that she had no respect for the sanctity of marriage – just as he hadn’t. She knew he was married with kids when she met him and none of that mattered to her. A year later, our divorce was final. She actually wanted to come to the divorce, but apparently she’d had to work. I didn’t let her even meet my kids until she had been with my ex for about 3 years. The only reason I finally did is because my ex-boyfriend convinced me to let her meet them. I’ll save him for another blog.
When my ex and I had split up, I was so bitter and hurt by his actions that I wished upon him someone exactly like him. That they would treat him jsut as he had treated me and would act like he had. As fate would have it, I had got my wish. She was jsut as jealous and overbearing as he had been all those years. She was so jealous that she wouldn’t allow he and I to be friends. She didn’t understand why we needed to be friends even though we shared a child.
Over the years, I got used to having to go through her to discuss my daughter with my ex-husband – as ridiculous as it all was. There were times that I liked her better than him, only because I viewed him as a coward for not standing up to her.
A couple of months ago, he called me one morning at work – crying. He started apologizing for everything he’d ever put me through and for how she had treated me over the past few years. He then explained that she had left him for a younger man. She had been cheating on him for the past couple of months and was in love with this guy. Karma had dealt it’s hand. The irony of it all. Back when I had wished all that upon him, I was just hurt and I didn’t really mean any of it. I never would have dreamed it would all actually happen. My ex and I are back to being friends again and his divorce is supposed to be final any time now. Wow, what a switch all of this is. The moral of this story is, be careful of what you ask for…you may actually get it.