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I worry constantly that I’m going to get that knock on my door that my son is dead. That’s my worst fear.

Now, SO found out yesterday that his mom has congenital heart failure. She’s also a smoker, but do you think any of this makes a difference to her? No. Her doctor has been telling her for years that she needs to stop, but she won’t. Me personally, I think it’s pretty selfish of her. SO doesn’t have much room to talk though. He took a brief hiatus from smoking, but secretly started again. His dad died back in December of ’08. SO is worried that now his mom will jsut give up with him being gone. That woman was never nice to me or my kids. But I’m sorry for SO’s sake.

Also, SO still hasn’t gotten skin grafts for the skin cancer, and he now has more spots. This worries me greatly.