We met almost 18 years ago. I worked for a retail store, he worked for Budweiser. He drove the Busch truck and looked so good in his uniform 🙂 One of my friends met him first. She was the receiving supervisor where I worked so she dealt with all of the vendors. I worked in the cash office and rarely came in contact with anyone other than managers or cashiers. My friend became friends with him and talked about him often. Her cousin, whom we also worked with, wanted to go out with me at the time, but didn’t have the guts to ask me. I remember the first time I saw SO. He was stocking beer in the rear of the store. I was walking up front and said hi to him and asked him how he was. He said hi and acted surprised that I spoke to him. A few days later, my friend and I met SO and his helper for lunch. He asked for my number that day and that’s all she wrote.
I got scared after of few weeks of dating and told him I wanted to take a step back. He told me he wasn’t going to let me go and wasn’t going anywhere but would give me as much time as I needed. He was the only man, even to this day, that I felt 100% completely comfortable with. I could jsut be myself with him. That scared me more than anything. Three short months later, he proposed and the rest is history. When we split up nearly 5 years later, I never knew love could hurt that much. I dropped almost 15 pounds during the break-up and the divorce. I hadn’t weighed 95 pounds since I was 14. My body felt like it was shutting down on me and at times I felt I was dying. I was bitter for a long time. I remained that way until a wonderful man from Oklahoma came along that I met in a country music chat room, of all places. He taught me that I still had the ability to let someone in and learn to love again. To him, I’ll always be grateful.
Three years ago, the inevitable happened. SHB cheated on SO and he divorced her. Almost immediately, he knew the pain that I had endured all that time. He asked me for forgiveness, but I had already forgiven him years before. After his divorce, he asked me out for 18 months and each time I’d say no. Finally, last September and much to his surprise, I said yes.
These past 14 months haven’t been easy. We’ve had to learn each other all over again. We’ve had some not so great times along the way and some really good ones, but we love each other. He tells me every day that he loves me. He gets sad at night when he’s lying awake at night, alone in his bed – longing to cuddle with me. Many times, he will wake up in the middle of the night and reach for me only to remember that I’m not there with him.
He’s not perfect by any means. He irritates me at times, and at others he down right pisses me off. But he’s always seen me for me. He doesn’t punish me for what others did to him, like someone else I know. And he doesn’t expect more than I can give. He’s thankful he has me, and I feel the same. I don’t know what our future will bring. Or if Whabbs predictions will come to fruition. (One can only hope!) For now, I’ll jsut sit back and enjoy my time with him. I jsut know that deep inside, this feels right.