She never liked me when SO and I were married. She had always wanted him to marry his high school sweetheart. I guess she blamed me when he didn’t. I don’t know. But all I do know is that she was never good to me or my son and Kiwi. She’s always been a smoker. She would smoke in the house when we lived with his parents. When Kiwi was about 4 years old, she came down with RSV. She had to have constant breathing treatments. MIL (Mom-in-law) still smoked. This pissed me off to no end. When they moved to San Antonio years ago, we learned that Tater is allergic to smoke. She still smoked when SO took Tater there for a visit.
Now, she’s a 2 pack a day smoker and she won’t stop. Since SO’s dad passed away in Dec ’08, no one can get her to stop. She now has COPD, she also has congenital heart failure. She came down with pneumonia, she was hospitalized and was released after a few days. The next day, SO was at his bff’s house. He had only been there a few minutes and his mom called, saying she couldn’t breathe and call 911 instead of making that call herself and having them call SO. SO’s bff lives 30 miles away. He’s upset because his mom won’t call the doctor on his own, even 911. She gets him to do everything for him. He’s close to his mom and loves her very much, but he feels like he can’t go anywhere because she might call any minute needing something. He now admits that she likes attention and always has. I knew that 16 years ago when we lived with his parents and his mom would make up things and tell SO that I had done or said something mean to her. He would believe his mom. I resented her because of that.
Her health hasn’t been good for years now, even when SO’s dad was still alive. When SO’s dad passed, we were all shocked. We all thought his mom would pass first. SO’s having a hard time with all this now. He brings his mom donuts every morning and makes sure she takes her meds. He has to regulate what she takes because she goes to one particular doctor that will jsut write a prescription, no questions asked. She’s been on this one pain pill for years that you’re not supposed to take longer than a certain amount of time. She’ll go to the doctor without SO and doesn’t tell the doc everything she’s taking.
When she does pass, it will be the hardest thing that SO has faced thus far. I don’t know how it will affect him. He’ll be making a road trip to the mountains. His parents always wanted their ashes spread on the mountains in NM. He told me he doesn’t want to burden me with that. I told him that I’ll be by his side.